My heart's true love!

It's just past two am in the morning. I have work in 5 and a half hours. I need to be up in about 3 to start getting ready.

I can't help but lay here and wonder what I've done to deserve everything of which I have been given. Nothing is fair in life. I don't get to choose my parents or my family. I don't get to decide when I live or when I die. I don't get to decide the future or change the past. I don't have control over every little detail of my life. I want so badly to change what I have done in the past and want nothing more than to fix the future before it happens. Nothing ever goes according to plan. Life is just an incredible ride and I have a ticket for the rest of the ride.

There is one thing which perplexes me. How did I get so lucky to have a wonderful wife? Something I have prayed for since I was a little kid, since before I can even remember. Heck as old as I am now, probably even before time began *grin*.

I'm forty now and I don't know where all the time has gone, but I am coming up on my 18th wedding anniversary. I've had this woman on my side since her graduation of high school. We dated for two years before we tied the knot and I know not why she accepted me. Was it because she felt she couldn't do any better? Was I a settle for? I didn't know at that time, but I sure do know now. I have those answers without so much as a doubt of their truth. She loves me.

I've made so many horrid mistakes in my life and I still don't forgive myself for some of them, but she finds it in her heart to look at me in love. She smiles at me and tells me we'll be okay. She holds my hand and walks with me during our journey while here on this planet. I have so little meaning when compared to the universe. Her love however, gives me reason to fly. I can reach plains of life of which I would never get to if she wasn't there. Her smile brings joy to my day. Her touch gives me life in more ways than I can count. Her look into my eyes with deep compassion gives me answers which helps me see ever so clearly, for some reason everything makes sense in those moments. Nothing goes without being answered. Her lips, oh but her lips tell me everything that her eyes don't. Those beautiful, soft, supple lips. The passion, the sensitivity and the delicate flux of life is in her lips. Not only does everything make sense when she looks at me, but everything melts away when she kisses me. Questions might be answered, but when her lips meet mine there is nothing left to think about. No "painting the ceiling blue" never enters my mind. It's just me and her. Nothing else matters. The world could be crashing down all over us. Hurricanes, tornadoes, tsunamis, earthquakes, every natural disaster could be reeking havoc on our front door step, but there is one thing which calms them all. Her kiss! When I finally have those precious things are held against mine, this whole world disappears and I am hers.

So I find myself laying awake in the middle of the night with faith that I will see her again at the end of my work week and get one more of those fantastic moments of bliss with her held against me. The simple pleasures in life I know, but they mean more to me than God creating the universe in less than a few days. Not to blaspheme God in the least, but he has given me someone. A woman. Thank you God for such an incredible person to be by my side. I know you will take care of me God and you have through your beautiful child - my wife!

I will lay for the next few hours, hopefully with sleep, holding on to my beating heart (even though it aches while I'm away). It beats for you dear and every pulse through my body reminds me, seconds are ticking and I will see you sooner than the last second that just ticked.

I miss you Lynda and ache every second until I am in your arms again. My true love! My one and only love! I only have this one body; my heart, my eyes, my touch, my breath; this whole life is yours. I am yours!!! I will never forsake you of my being yours.

Thank you most of all for loving me, for making feel like a man. A precious stone in your most valuable of assets. You treat me to kind and you love me so pure and unconditionally. Thank you for everything!

I Love You!

Yours truly,
David

My heart!

I hate driving to work every week. It kills me every time I leave home. I don't like to drive down in the morning at 4 am just to be to work at 7 am, but even then I can't stand the thought of leaving my house on a Sunday night to go to Twin the night before, this is even harder. When I walk out the door knowing that I am leaving my family for a week, I die inside. My heart drops to the pit of my stomach. I get a lump in my throat. I tear up. I have no reason or purpose to pursue the rest of the day or week.

Why is this so hard to be away? Why the pain? The little minutes I can steal away and speak with my wife or text her on the phone really help. It gives me enough to make it a little further.

This is Christmas week and even though I am listening to Christmas music I'm still aching inside. I want to be home in the worst way right now. Snuggle up to my wonderful and soft skinned wife. To feel the softness of her cheek against mine this morning was magical and oh so wonderful.

When I have emotional difficulties, she is there. Every time I try to prove myself, she nods with acceptance, even when I over do it. When I cry, she cries. When I laugh, she laughs. When I hurt, she hurts and right now, I hurt. Only, please don't hurt for me my love. I don't like causing you any heartache.

I have a love. A love that is unbreakable, unstoppable, unbeatable. Only God's is greater than this. There is nothing in this world that will pull me away from my wife. She is the most wonderful person and the best thing which has ever happened to me. She knows my heart, my life, and my most intimate details. I have something that she gave me 18 years ago that has reminded me of what we have. Below is a picture of her undying love for me.


I'll dream of you tonight my sweetest love. Keep me in your thoughts and dreams. I shall be home soon. I promise. Thank you for being by my side through thick and thin. This ring is my hope of the rest of our future together. As it is never ending, neither is my love for you.